


Steel Garden

by SarineCassius



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon Related, F/M, Not Canon Compliant, canon compliant until chapter 54
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-24
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2018-08-10 20:46:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7860520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SarineCassius/pseuds/SarineCassius
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The most beautiful of flowers bloom in adversity...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Forget me nots

Erwin and Levi were locked in the office, at the light of the oil lamps, reading the latest private reports that Pixis had entrusted Erwin. Apparently, a new recruit had the ability to become titan at own will... more or less. The big problem was the loss of control experienced while doing so, apparently, the guy forgot most of his humanity. That had been demonstrated when he was ordered to grab and carry a rock large enough to seal the hole created by the colossal titan, the titan boy had tried to kill her sister, another recruit named Mikasa Ackerman.

Levi was startled by a thousandth of a second, that surname might not appear among the recruits only for coincidence

-Make sure the girl doesn't have anything to do with the military police Erwin –

-She is the adoptive sister of the titan boy, Levi, there is nothing to worry, Pixis said she dedicates herself to protect him, you saw her yourself Levi, the two of them and the young blonde boy with them were present at the tragedy of Shiganshina

-the Asian? It is that Mikasa Ackerman?

\- Yes, that's why I insist she is no threat to us

\- Tch - took a SIP of tea

\- We must guarantee that Eren Jaeger joins the squadron Levi, if military police put hands over him we will lose valuable information and a key part to defeat the Titans and recover the wall María...

Levi wasn't listening anymore, his mind began to wander, looking for pictures of the time when he was also an Ackerman among his memories, finding the face of a beautiful woman, white complexion, almond-shaped eyes and long, black hair in a corner. His name could not be other than Mei. When he was no more than a scared child, Mei was almost a young adult, who certainly was there with Kenny to be exploited for her beauty.

Erwin terminated the meeting, asking for Levi to accompany him to see the Titan boy as soon as Pixis allowed it. So he continued to remember Mei...Wandering around the headquarters, he managed to remember that Mei slept well into the afternoon while the other guys and himself trained and ran around the terrain of the House until their legs did not respond to them. Before dinner, Mei was up and a walked through the garden, guarded by one of the older guys and, therefore, a man of trust for Kenny.

He remembered that boy as much as Mei, but never dared to ask him his name. One afternoon the Ackerman House received a shipment of 50 wooden boxes, filled with tableware and fine silverware, Levi could not hold his curiosity by the glittering glasses and the porcelain cups painted with floral motifs, so he took a couple out of the package. He knew he was never going to drink tea in one of these cups and much less would he share the wine in these cups, so it was enough for him to look at the little masterpieces... until Kenny came to the winery. He hit him beastly, as so often in the past, and put him under lock and key in the smallest room in the house; a room without bathroom and windows that most likely served as a closet before the arrival of all the children.

Three days would he be locked up in his small prison, seeing the light in the corridors only when the tall and blonde boy who was always accompanying Mei gave him water and cold soup in the latest hours of the night

-Hang in there for a while longer kiddo, you'll see, Kenny will get you out of here in a breathe

The small and still innocent Levi clung to the hope that the young man offered him and endured the best way he could the whole three days of his punishment. When he went out and saw the face of Kenny, understood that the ruthless man was impressed that he had survived and so, without knowing, the guy without a name gave Levi a slightly longer lasting gift... his rebelliousness.

Much later, when he was already the most valuable member of the Ackerman "family" for his incredible battle skills, Levi witnessed the biggest scandal he had memory of...Kenny appeared at dinnertime, screaming incomprehensible things and spitting all over the place like a dog with rabies; behind him walked like swarm the older guys, who did not leave closet without opening, then left on foot and on horseback not to return until two days later with the crushing news: Mei and his companion had escaped to never return again.

Other young women replaced Mei and life on that damn House continued as it was before, but the Levi's consciousness about his captivity never burned brighter than that time; It would be forever in his mind the idea that escape was possible, which he would eventually accomplish.

Once free, he never again think of Mei and the blond guy until this day, in which fate put him face to face with another Ackerman…

He imagined that the most plausible scenario was that the couple fled towards the outer wall to the smallest and most secluded community. To reduce the possibility of someone finding them,they adopted the surname of the man who in the internal walls could well have been as feared as a titan, and as was logical, they had started a family they believed was safe; but something had happened (Levi took a mental reminder to find out what had been) and the girl had finished in Shiganshina with an adoptive family...

When he saw her more carefully in Eren Jaeger's trial he had no doubt that she was Mei's daughter: she had inherited her beautiful features and her relative serenity, but when he saw her later on the battlefield, he realized that she had also inherited the ability to fight of his father, he saw fight with reckless clients more than once...Levi felt committed, to say the least, with Mikasa and the loss of his squad presented an opportunity to become her protector and her teacher.

It would be clear after a few training sessions that Mikasa was everything but docile, but was positively surprised by her unwavering discipline and the fast pace in which she learned every movement he tried to teach her. Levi surprised himself spellbound with his face when taking dinner and found her looking at him also when he went to supervise the stables.

He began to look for excuses to punish Jaeger without realizing it, because it was well known that minutes later Mikasa would be in his office, demanding him to withdraw the punishment from Eren. He complied most of the times, but others, for the pure pleasure of seeing the girl blushed with rage, with moist lips and messy hair, he retained the punishment and endured one little longer. In the end, Levi reminded her that he was still her superior and that she had no option other than suck it. She stormed out of the office and Jaeger secretly (but of course he knew).

When Hanji monopolized the Titan boy with her experiments, Levi saw Mikasa in his office to try to teach her offensive and defensive techniques which would help her in the following mission; It was then when the young woman was more quiet by his side, asking occasional questions and approaching him without the aim of hurting him. Then Levi took advantage to study her factions and let himself be surrounded by her fresh smell of forest.

One afternoon that the legion received orders for a new expedition, Mikasa went to his office, concerned that Eren would be positioned far from Levi and herself for the first time. He tried to listen to her fears and when she fell silent, he dared to say:

\- do you trust me, Mikasa? – he savored her first name coming out of his lips

-Yes -was the plain response he got

-you must also rely on Erwin then, he is the most intelligent man I know, and if he considers that Jaeger will be safe, then I hope that he will

mikasa bit her lower lip - and if something goes wrong?-

-Then I'll be there to control the situation

She nodded and went out quietly. Levi stayed there, in his seat, suddenly overwhelmed by fear... fear to not fulfill what he had implicitly promised to Mikasa, fear of not being able to protect her now that she had become inadvertently a central part in his life.

He suffered quietly a few minutes whe he understood that the need of protecting her as a symbol of gratitude towards their parents had slowly transformed into a love he could not find a source or a time…

He loved her, he loved her desperately, and he needed for her to be safe and sound. He could not afford losing someone else…

When he was more calm, he thanked the heavens while sipping on his afternoon tea for every little causality that led him to find Mikasa at this time, when the answers for the titan mistery were so close to them, and when the Ackerman House was just a bad memory of his past. He held in his toughts Mei and the blonde man, the people who gave him without noticing the greatest strength he could ever want in his life: hope, his rebelliousness, a fervant desire for freedom an Mikasa Ackerman.

**TBC...**


	2. Gladioli

**2\. Gladioli**

The mission was relatively simple: trick the military police and relocate Eren where only Erwin knew where to find him. Historia would go incognito to the central city, where they would prepare her to take the throne. Mikasa, from her quiet position in the squadron, was looking at the plans be schemed amazed of the great way Armin and Erwin understood each other tactically speaking; the rest of Levi's team was listening to their instructions with attention, but neither she nor Levi were listening too much. Mikasa was feeling Levi's worry in the air, like some sort of fog hovering over them, leaving her with a sensation that air was a bit too thick. The commander was concerned and had not yet expressed it to anyone. When all the soldiers of low status (like them) received their orders and left, only remained in the room Eren, History, Levi, Hanji, Moblit and Erwin; to discuss the details that only they had the right to know.

The lunch hour was obstructed by the arrangements and the strident instructions of a tortured Hanji who was afraid to lose to the most long lasting experiment that she had had between her hands. Eren was very silent and Historia only was peeking on her meal without having a bite, her eyes full of tears from time to time obviously tormented about the past and the future. Making use of the rare moment of introspection of all its friends, she thought a lot about what might be worrying Levi; it might be said that in the little time that he was training her personally, she no longer thought of him as a bitchy dwarf many hours a day … now she admired him silently. She was surprised by the stoicism which with he faced every difficulty, the serenity he irradiated to everyone with his own self-confidence and it was impossible to forget the way he used de 3DM gear was so good she tried to copy some movements herself (resulting in Levi noticing and helping her mastering the technique the next training session). That's why she was so concerned about Levi being worried, he didn't seem as confident as always and the whole legion felt it without knowing it for certain…

Mikasa was ordered to meet with Levi at 1400, and she arrived in his office at the exact hour, knowing how much Levi liked it.

-Come in, Ackerman

-Sir- she saluted and stood in front of the desk

-Your orders- he handed a sealed envelope, with burn after reading orders-You'll be with the rest of the team until I give the signal, after that our job is to clear the way and get out of there as soon as possible.

-That means commander Erwin is expecting trouble, sir

-Please, tell me one time there hasn't been any-he rubbed his temples with the tip of his fingers-That's all, you can leave

Mikasa saluted again, but walked slower than usual towards the door. She held the doorknob a few seconds too much, because Levi asked:

-Any problem?

-Is everything all right, sir?

-Yes, it is-he frowned- Shouldn't it be?

She downed her head, still facing the door-No sir, it's just…never mind, good afternoon sir

-Spit it out Ackerman, I need you 100% focused tomorrow. Are you worried about your brother?

-No sir, well, I am, but that was not the reason I asked- she approached the desk and sat in front of the man, whom appeared to be burdened by every year of military service all at once-I couldn't help but notice that there's something worrying you

Mikasa looked him in the eye for a moment, she could see him wondering, but she knew he saw in her own eyes that her question was out of true concern.

-The success of tomorrow's mission defines everything, and this time it doesn't depend on our experience killing titans. Ackerman, have you considered that you may have to kill a human being for the first time tomorrow?

She didn't know what to answer, she couldn't tell him that she already had the blood of a man staining her hands for eternity; she wasn't sure she wanted him, and him precisely to think of her as a murderer

-I haven't thought about it, but I have no problem with it sir

-Stop calling me sir for two straight minutes Ackerman, I've had enough of that for one day

-I'm sorry

-You think it will be easy to live, with a murder on your shoulders?

-No, but if it has to be done, I'll do it. It's them or us, I think…

Levi nodded in approval-I think so too

-Then what are you worried about? Is there something I should know before tomorrow? You can trust me, I won't tell, maybe it's none of my business but if it endangers our lives, then…

-I trust you, Mikasa-she blushed, like she did every time Levi called her by her first name (or when he got too close, for the matter) - And I appreciate your concern, but this has nothing to do with the mission, it's personal business.

Levi stood up, while she kept thinking how good it felt to be trusted by him, it made her feel warm and serene, like she was suddenly worthy of something bigger than herself; but she couldn't help but feeling like that personal issue Levi had, had everything to do with the mission. She followed him to the office's entrance.

-It doesn't matter how ugly thing get Mikasa, I need you to trust I know what I'm doing, can I count on that?

-Of course, sir

-When I call you by your first name, I expect the courtesy to be reciprocated, no one here is going to punish you for not calling me sir-he opened the door- Good afternoon, Mikasa

-Good afternoon Levi-she felt blood rushing to her cheeks and raised her shoulders to hide her face from view with the help from her scarf.

The next morning, everyone was ready, wearing common clothes with the 3DM gear well hidden between the cloaks. Armin was driving the chariot that carried the whole team. Somewhere in the way, they would change chariots and she wouldn't see Eren until sometime later, if they survived; that was why she spent all the afternoon with him, and everything had gone as pretty as a poppy field, until like always, Eren lost it and started talking really loud:

-Mikasa, you're my sister and I love you, I promise I'll try to do anything on my hands to defeat the titans once and for all, every single one of them! But if we never see each other again, please take care of Armin, take care of all the team, you're the only one who can do it…and you must know I realize how much you care for Levi heichou, learn everything you can from him, don't push him away Mikasa…his methods could be more subtle, yes, but he is a good man and he cares for humanity as much as we do.

Trying to lighten up the mood, she arched an eyebrow and asked: -Mighty midget, a good man?

-Shhh Mikasa! But yes, he is a good man, he cares so much about his team and if he had not been my teacher before he was yours, I wouldn't tell you he takes care of you the most in every expedition. I mean it, don't push him away.

-Heichou's job is protecting humanity, not me

-Don't be so stubborn for once and listen to me: Hanji says Levi NEVER had bothered to teach someone any 3DMG moves to anyone, and Mike said once Levi asked Erwin specifically to give you a position in formation where he could check on you. I think he wants you to take his place somewhere in the future….that or he is in love with you…

Before she had time to react, he hugged her and ran out the room to piss Jean off, because he HAD to bother him one last time. Trying to sooth that little part of her insides that wanted to run down the halls singing and throwing flower petals everywhere, Mikasa laid down on the bed and looked at the ceiling until she fell asleep.

In the morning, while dangerously close to the point where they would change chariots, Mikasa's stomach was still in knots every time Levi approached her and did not dare to say anything when he went to monitor the perimeter. She stayed with the rest of his team, watching the wagon carrying Historia stray northward and the one carrying Eren back down the street they'd come and go around a corner. When she could no longer see any of them, she felt empty and her whole body shuddered out: something was gonna go very very wrong.

It was not until they heard the shots and saw Levi go over them, that they rode the horses and moved to the point where they tried to give the commander a horse.

-Mikasa and I will go forward, clear the way and you must find the way out. No matter what, do not stop, I do not want to have to rescue prisoners later.

There were too many military police and they were everywhere, in the air and on land riding their own horses. Levi had obtained firearms and he shot towards earth as she tried to control the situation in the air. From above she could see where the road was free and he followed her blindly, too busy to watch the escape route. Bullets eventually ran out, and she had lost count of how many men and women were killed by the blades of her gear, but she tried with all her will to move on so her teammates could keep safe. Levi had changed from rifles to blades and as agile as he was, killing anyone who tried to approach them. Without notice, the police disappeared and they stopped on a rooftop, agitated but vigilant and soon got there a tall, thin man, with elegant clothes and a hat.

-I tought I shot you back there Kenny-Levi stepped forward, covering her with his body

-No man, you couldn't kill me even if you tried

-And that's why?

-Because you're an Ackerman you filthy rat, and even when you're my very best creation, I'm still your master and even when you ran to the drains as the rat you are, you're still my property

Mikasa felt all her blood go to her feet, her legs not responding for a brief second. Levi was an Ackerman.

-Introduce us, Levi

-Leave her alone, Kenny, this is between you and me

-Oh, I see…-the man got closer to them and his eyes got bright with mischief when he saw her-Why haven't you told me you had kept Mei's little one as a pet?

Her ears buzzed when she heard her mom's name and she looked Levi's eyes for answers, a bit more shocked every second passed.

-I don't know what you're talking about

-Oh, she knows…right sweetie?-

Levi took out his blades to keep him away

-One more step and I'll cut your head

-Come on Levi, don't be such a pain in the ass, tell me, is she as well trained as Mei?

-What do you know about my mother?

-Shut up and get out of here, Ackerman, that's an order

The Kenny guy laughed out loud when he heard her name and got a pistol out of his belt

-The girl stays, Levi

Mikasa was confused, so confused, so loaded with information, so betrayed. She couldn't believe Levi had met her mother and kept silent for so long

-Your mom was a valuable possession honey, so valuable that when she escaped I looked for her for years…I sent a lot of my men looking for her, but when we got to that cute little forest cabin, it was empty already…I guess Levi's men got to her first.

She felt her eyes filling with tears, it was impossible. She tried to be brave and stop him from poisoning her with his lies…she trusted Levi, she loved Levi. He was her teacher, her protector, he had teach her a lot of what he knew because he believed in her and her skills…or it was just because he felt guilty for killing her parents? She fell to her knees, and felt a dark cloud passing over her, like a bad sign

-You did know Levi was a gang member, a criminal, befor he became our fantastic little soldier, right sweetie?

She had no words or strength to answer. She felt Levi grabbing her waist and heard the familiar sound of the 3DMG moving through the air and taking them from one rooftop to another. Kenny did not follow them.

**TBC**


	3. Apple Blossoms

**3\. APPLE BLOSSOMS**

Levi did not use the maneuver gear for long, it was too dangerous to remain visible ... once he got out of Kenny's range of sight, he practically dragged Mikasa into the underground he knew so well; maybe it was not the safest place, but it was the last place the military police would look for. Time enough to catch up with the rest in the safe house after Mikasa got herself back on track.

The girl was in shock, letting him move her like a rag doll and her face expressing pure pain. If Levi knew her as well as he supposed, it was not going to last long and he had better get them to safety before Mikasa exploded.

They arrived to the room he once shared with Farlan and Isabella, moldy and barely standing furniture; It had a leaky roof and not a single lamp to give some light to that place ... it was depressing. Mikasa sat on a piece of concrete jutting out, afraid that if he put her in a chair she would end up on the floor. She just left him do, still processing the information.

-Mikasa-shook her shoulder-you hear me?

-Yes- but did not look up nor made any effort to say anything else

Levi sighed and took a few steps around the room, wondering what he could tell Mikasa to improve the situation.

\- Who was he?

-Kenny Ackerman, captain of the military police and the most corrupt and disgusting person I've ever met

-And you are...

He was shocked to hear speak like that, a sharp pain in his chest as he understood he was not Levi or heichou, she was denying him.

-Levi, commander of the Legion, former gang member and former slave of Kenny Ackerman

-And you met my parents

-Very briefly

-But you knew and did not tell me, you kept it to yourself- she looked at him straight in the eyes, her pain reflected in the tears that ran through her face.

-Up till now they were only guesses Mikasa, I could assume that you were related to them and suspected, being an adopted daughter of Jaeger, who had died ... but I never imagined they would have been killed

-You guessed ...- her voice was filled with bitterness

-I had nothing to do with their deaths, I assure you

\- How am I supposed to believe you are telling me the truth?

-That does not depend on me- he looked down, hurt.

Mikasa rose and hit a table, the table falling apart under her fist

-I want to go, I want to see Armin

-It's not safe yet, we should wait a couple of hours. We will go to the safe house after the sunset

For a while, it looked like they had gone back in time, to the stage where she refused to do anything he ordered and the tension between the two seemed to ignite sparks in the air. Levi took her place on the piece of concrete and Mikasa circled around the room with his eyes piercing her whole body. She wanted to believe him, but everything seemed too coincidental, Levi had kept things that she had the right to know, and below the anger she had, her heart ached.

-You look just like your mother, you inherited her temper…

\- You have no right to talk about her!

-Your father was the only person who was kind to me when I was with Kenny. He was the only one trying to protect the kids ... he received more than a beating for accepting guilts that were not his...

Oriental eyes again filled with tears, remembering fondly his always cheerful and calm, smiling parents, even when crops were ruined and there was not plenty to eat; her father treated her and her mother as if they were works of art, he was a good and devoted man, the days when her mother was too sick to get up he never left her side except to cook chicken soup for her. She could not stop the sobs escaping her throat. She knew in her soul that Levi would not hurt innocent people and needed to believe in him. Do not push him away, Mikasa.

-They were good people, good people who went through a lot for very long…

Doubtful of the effect it would cause, he approached and hugged her to his chest, she tried to resist a little, but did not let her; in a few seconds, she returned the hug, holding him so tightly he felt his heart flutter.

\- You want to lie down?

-No- her warm breath reached his neck, giving him chills-This is fine

-Ok- perhaps instinctively, he moved his legs rocking from side to side and stroked her hair tenderly. Damn Kenny, he had broken her and he could not take it...

-Then you didn't have them killed, right? - looked up, her beautiful eyes glazed, looking at him with hope

-No, of course not, I'm pretty sure it was Kenny himself or some other corrupt pig who found your parents ... How did you survive, Mikasa?

-Eren saved me- she did not felt strong enough to say more

Levi felt his throat closing, the pigs had tried to take her away, to sell her body in central cities like so many others ... he squeezed harder, partly because of how powerless he felt.

-I understand you do not trust me as a person anymore, I hid the whole truth, but if I decided to teach you, it was because I want you to be safe and that one day you can escape this ugly reality as your parents did some time ago ... they greatly influenced me, I do not know how to explain it to you, but I will always be indebted to them so I decided to teach you ... I want you to be strong Mikasa Ackerman, I want you to survive this war.

She pulled away from him slowly, eyes bloodshot, and Levi looked like she never seen him before ... he looked pale, tormented, suffering even more than her. They were in a half dark room, but she could figure out the truth in his words and in his eyes; she felt herself lighter, with one less burden on her shoulders ... He also watched her, absorbed in his own thoughts, worried about what she might say and when she remained silent, he sighed heavily and opened the door.

-Come on, let's look for the rest

-I do not understand how I'll be able to get out of here and live the rest of my life knowing all of this...

-You will Mikasa, one step at a time

-It has no sense to destroy the Titans, survive no longer has a meaning if we live in a world where men explode and kill each other ... We could speed things up and let the Titans eat us all at once.

\- You do not want to see what's out there? Wouldn't you like to return to a cabin in the woods?

\- How could I do that possibly do that? – She covered her face with her hands in desperation

\- Do you remember if your parents were happy?

-They were, WE were very happy

-They lived first-hand all the evil humanity could do ... but then they were happy, you saw them. Maybe they were crazy, maybe we're all crazy ... but i also want to be happy, Mikasa, even after all this I hope to be happy someday...

For the million time that day, Mikasa surprised herself crying, and approached Levi, grateful for every one of his words. Not sure what the next step was, she bit her lower lip ... Levi eliminated the distance and took her face in his hands, that still smelled of gunpowder, he caressed her cheeks and slowly let his lips gently brush against hers. She wished with every cell of her body to kiss her, but he distanced himself a few millimeters...

-Not here- he said in a whisper

-It has to be here-

It was Mikasa who ended up owning Levi's lips, while the light of the sunset coming from the surface reached them. They kissed in a decadent room, in a decadent world ... but the kiss sealed a promise of a better world, even if that world was only for the two of them.


	4. Daffodils

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, I've found some time to keep translating this work. You can find it's Spanish version on ffn.net, but I may upload it here sometime in the future. The remaining chapters will be posted this week. Thank you so much to everyone that subscribed to this story and to those who keep reading it.

**4\. Daffodils**

 

Their lips separated after what felt like a moment, Mikasa with her eyes still closed and Levi holding her in his arms, like a precious object in danger of falling apart.

-We must go- he whispered against her hair

-I know-

He took her hand and they left the ruinous house without another glance, walking with care along the place. Levi knew that in places like this one, where need and hunger were bosses, there was no place for things like loyalty or secrets; he knew it wouldn’t be long until they found someone who’d be willing to tell on their position in exchange for coins, so he instructed Mikasa to stay in the darker side of the streets, where he was at least sure that the shadows would cover her face and identity from prying eyes. They turned in a corner, looking to get as close as possible to the safe house Erwin had ensured for them. Only Braus and himself knew the exact location of the said house before the mission started, and he had no guarantee that his entire team was safe at the location. Levi and Mikasa soon found themselves walking into the darkest area of the underground, the nodded at each other before darkness swallowed them and kept on walking.

Levi was sure that her mind was a battlefield now, should she trust him or not? Should she move on o leave the battle?

-How do you do it?- she said in a low voice, staring at her feet, trying to follow his steps in the dark.

-I spent a long time down here after I escaped Kenny, I know this place with more detail than I do the upper side.

-No, not this- their steps were like cannons as they advanced, accompanied by the rustle the rats made close to them- How do you move on after losing so much?

Levi stopped, taken aback by her deep words. He understood that she was not asking out of mere curiosity, she was looking for guidance, an example to follow…

-I don’t know, I guess that even in the darkest moments of my life when I thought there was nothing holding me...someone was always there to give me hope- she didn’t answer, and he felt like both the darkness and the silence fell upon them with more weight than before.

He turned to look at her and saw a slight reflection in the darkness behind her.

-We have to get out, someone is following us- he took the gun out of its case and unlocked it, signaling Mikasa to move forward.

On the next detour they took the path on the right and Levi guided her to a small maintenance ladder, he waited for her to climb up and stood there for a few more seconds, trying to distinguish steps, or lights or sounds. When he was satisfied, he followed Mikasa to a deserted alley, where they could hear some dogs barking in the distance. Every window was closed and only two or three light posts were fighting the night’s darkness, so they could scurry easily towards the safe house.

They walked through the lonely street, Levi’s expert eyes looking for any armed men in the rooftops and Mikasa kept her hands on the handles of the 3DM gear, ready to go in action.

A lonely figure appeared in his visual field and Levi could recognize Kirschtein leaning back on the brick wall behind him. When they reached him, he started walking in front of them, looking back to check on Mikasa every now and then. The street was becoming more narrow after a few blocks and Kirschtein stopped to knock three times on a plainly looking wooden door. The door opened and he saw the pale and nervous face of Armin Arlert, pointing at them with a gun with his shaky hands. He exhaled in relief when he recognized them and let them in immediately, Levi looked at the street before closing the door, looking for any suspicious sign. When he closed the door, he saw the rest of his team, all safe and sound, greeting Mikasa with joy.

-News?- asked Levi, leaving his gun at the table.

-None, sir- answered Braus - we left our vehicle a few streets from here and no one followed us after you disappeared from our sight. 

Levi nodded at her and stood up to mount the first guard, thinking that Mikasa would need time to talk with Arlert. He walked up the stairs towards the second floor and hid behind the heavy curtains that covered the window that faced the street. Visibility was not the best, but the street lights produced enough shadows for him to catch on if anyone came close to their position. From downstairs he could hear the muffled whispers of his subordinates and their incessant questions to Mikasa, he wasn’t sure how much time it had passed, but he could see two hooded figures walking up and down the street; from far away, he couldn’t see if their clothes had any sigils on, but after a few minutes, they walked back to where they came from. 

Hanji better get there soon.

He stepped away from the window and went to the first floor, where the nice and warm smell of tea welcomed him.

-Springer, it’s your turn- Connie saluted him- Stay alert, I suspect the Military Police won’t take long to find us. The rest of you, the candles will be out in 30 minutes, we’ll rest in the basement.

Connie went up the stairs and Levi approached the table to help himself a cup of tea, but Braus was quicker and served him one before he could sit down. He thanked the girl with a nod.

-We have no news from Historia yet, and considering the circumstances I think that’s a good thing- said Armin

-I agree- Levi answered- Hanji and Moblit should be here before midnight, after setting everything up for Eren

-And what’s the plan if they don’t show up?- asked Jean

-Leave the city before dawn, so don’t get too comfortable…- he looked directly at Mikasa, who, even when silent, had an aura of discomfort and worry around her- Ackerman, are you alright?

-Permission to retire for rest, sir?

-I expect high performance from you tomorrow Ackerman, Arlert, show her the way…

They both left the room with a salute, and Levi could notice how Jean followed her with a longing gaze, wishing with every fiber of his being to go after her to the basement. He smiled on the inside. If he was on Kirschtein’s place, he would have done the exact same thing…

Armin and Mikasa walked to the basement, she was behind him, thanking the heavens that he was alive and well for another day… They got to the basement, lighted only by two flickering candles, too cramped and too humid, six pieces of simple fabric laid down across the floor, apparently their beds for the night as long as Hanji or Moblit wouldn’t show up…

Armin sat down in a wooden box, leaving her to pick her cot first, so Mikasa sat down crossing her legs in lotus position in the closest spot to the door and stairs, knowing perfectly that Levi would have chosen the same place.

-I killed someone today, Mikasa- said Armin, staring at the ground, tears dropping into it- A person, a human…

-Armin- she felt hesitant as to approach him

-The worst part is that I don’t feel guilty- he looked at her, all his desperation reflected in his blue eyes- I understand now, I know exactly what is like to abandon your own humanity…- his last words were muffled by a loud sob

Mikasa knew very well what that felt like, she understood what was like to have your hands permanently stained with someone else’s blood, having the death of a person on your shoulders… She had wondered countless times inside her head if after the death of her captors there had been another little girl just like her, crying for a family that wouldn't come back; but, just like Armin, she didn’t feel guilty… it was not nice, of course, there was something within your soul that changed forever, but in the world they lived in, in the dire circumstances they faced every single day, there was no place for guilt; humanity had to be ignored when the need for survival was greater. She remembered the answer she gave to Levi the day before they left for the mission…

-Them before us, Armin- she got up and took his hand between hers, waiting that her presence was comfort enough.

It took Armin a few more minutes to recompose, breathing deeply to try and control the tremor that had overcome his thin body.

-It took you a while to get here, Mikasa, we were really worried. For a minute I thought Sasha would have a nervous breakdown- he said, looking at her- any trouble?

Mikasa felt a rush of blood going straight to her face and she looked away

-We had to hide in the underground city for a little while-

-¿Did anyone follow you?

-Levi heichou suspects there was someone, he doesn’t say it, but he is worried that the Military Police may get here before Hanji and Moblit…

-So, it’s Levi heichou now? Not the midget?

-Armin…

-Forget it, I didn’t say anything- he said, his hands up in defeat- Get some rest, Mikasa, I'll go take over for Connie for a while

Armin left the basement and left her with only the two dying candles as company. She couldn’t help touching her lips, feeling the ghost of Levi’s lips over them, she closed her eyes, wishing to relive the moment as soon as it was possible. That kiss had changed everything without remedy. She didn’t know how to explain it, but after that brief moment of intimacy with Levi, everything around her looked exactly the same but felt different. As if the truths she based her life on weren’t important anymore.

She thought about her parents. She remembered the soft smile of her mother lighting up the room, her hands fixing the garden; the gentle gaze of her father celebrating each one of her achievements; Carla Jaeger came back to her mind, she had understood her fears and anxieties when she got to her house; she thought about Eren and Armin, always by her side, giving her a reason to persevere; she thought about Sasha, Connie and Jean...always there, worthy battle partners, always reliable, friends she could trust for motivation and comfort...she thought of Levi, and she smiled.

He was right. There was always someone there, giving her a ray of hope, and she felt deep in her heart, a warmth that soothed her pain in a slow but constant way, showing her that even the thinnest rays of sunshine brought light upon the darkest nights and helped you see clearly once again.

Levi was right, she would go back to the world one step at a time, looking for her small place in this world. She would fall again, surely. She would be in pain. She would fight. She would laugh. She would love as intensely as she possibly could. 

She would live.

Mikasa smiled again.

She really hated when Levi was right.


End file.
